Monday, February 6, 2012

Dating and real life...

These past couple of days have been both awesome and tough. Ed has been home for over 2 weeks on vacation so he's spent a lot of time with Liam giving me a break to rest, sleep and work. I have fallen in love with him as a father, he is just exceptional and the best father I know. He loves Liam so much and doesn't see spending time with him as a sacrifice. He never complains and keeps his cool when dealing with difficult times. Just pure awesomeness.

The two weeks started with Ed working from home a couple of days because he was sick. I was feeling a bit down those days so it was nice to have him around the house. I was down mainly because I felt tired and disconnected. Even though I am extremely happy with the move to NJ, there are things that are harder. I feel a bit isolated. Obviously we have to make friends etc but that is not always easy. We have to make an effort and I'm sure that will come with time. For the moment I just needed a break.

Then I received a call from the doctor's office with the sequential test results. In short this is the second test they do to check for Down Sindrome and other abnormalities and the numbers came lower than the first test. I was devastated. Ed did the research and found the numbers were not bad at all, but I couldn't hear him. I just saw everything blurry and wanted to cry and be taken care of, to sleep and hide from it all.

We took a break and went to the movies while his brother and sis in law stayed with Mr. L. It was a sorta depressing movie (The Descendants) but it was great to spend some time with my Ed.

We ended up going for a detailed sonogram and counseling and after all that we decided it was time to stop the madness. At 22 weeks the sonogram looked perfect and there was no way in hell we were going to risk our baby with more tests, no matter how "safe" they are. At this point we are having him no matter what. YES! Another little boy. We are so excited!

So women out there be careful with all the information you get. The fact that there are tests doesn't mean we need to take them all. They are tests not diagnosis. Numbers and odds. They are good to have but the whole experience can be overwhelming and can take the focus from what is important, you and your new baby. Make your doctor or midwife sit down with you and explain what it all means before being pushed into doing what it's easy for everybody else but you.

5 comments:

  1. Wao.. comprendo lo dificil que es pasar por momentos asi. Mi primer bebe venia con espina bifida y era anecefalico, y desde que me dijeron en el sonograma hasta que lo tuve que parir antes de tiempo, llore y llore sin consuelo. Cuando fui al sonograma de Camille estaba aterrada, pero gracias a Dios, todo salio bien. Pasa mucho con las latinas, que como somos de razas mezcladas, los numeros de las pruebas no concuerdan con lo supuestamente "normal".

    felicito a Ed por todo el apoyo que te ha dado. El amor de ustedes es muy grande y en estos momentos es que se separan los hombres de los niƱos. Que Dios les bendiga y que tengan un bebe hermoso y saludable, para la felicidad de todos!!

    Un abrazo.

    Zoe

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  2. And almost 5 years later our Little Evan (the "Evanator") is the most amazing special boy. We are so very lucky. Thank you my love for the great baby "cooking".
    Te amo
    Ed

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